EMAIL THERAPY

Email therapy works by pretending you are emailing someone else to tell them all about how you feel. By expressing how you feel to someone, anyone, you are sharing your pain. But at the same time you are also getting it out, airing all the stuff you have been holding in. Seeing your thoughts laid out helps to put things into perspective. Being heard is greatly healing. Sharing how you feel is empowering. Even if it is only yourself who gets to hear it.

Let it all out. Send an email to yourself. Then, after an hour or two, look in your inbox, and read what you have written, pretending that you are hearing from someone else who really needs some support right now.

Read the email you wrote to yourself. Think about it, and using your deep knowledge about how this person thinks and feels, send back a reply that shows you are understanding, supportive, and really care what happens to this person.

The results can be magical.

FIRST: TELL YOUR ADVISOR ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL

Take some time to think about how you feel. Focus on something that bothers you. It can be about how someone else treats you. Or about problems at work. It can be about how you react to words, situations, or people. It can be about how you feel about yourself, about life, anything.

Allow yourself to really connect to the feeling.

Then write an email to yourself. Use your own email address, but make the email first line say something like:

"Dear advisor, I just had to write to you about how I feel. I value your advice, and you have helped me before. I wonder if you have time to read what I have written below. Let me know what you think I should do now."

In your email describe how you feel, how you feel about how you feel. Go into complete detail. List exactly what happened, who was there, what was said. Or detail your own thoughts and feelings, your moods, your worries, whatever is bothering you. Write it as if you were writing to some wise, caring person who takes a great interest in what you do and how you feel. Tell that person exactly what you are going through right now.

NEXT: EMAIL BACK UNCONDITIONAL SUPPORT AND ADVICE

When you get the the email, spend a few minutes thinking about how you would help this person. And then start the email therapy. Send back an email of encouragement. Really think about what this person could do to help deal with their issues. Take the time to let them know you care. Let the person know that you are there for them. Let them know that they are loved and wanted and how they feel matters to you.

FINALLY: ACT ON THE ADVICE

When you get back that email, send an acknowledgement. Tell them how you plan to do the things suggested. Lay out in detail exactly what you are going to do, when, where, and how.

And then start doing it.