what they don't want

It’s what they don’t want that is important

I had a question from a hypnotherapist:

What do you recommend would be the best script to use for Career Goal Attraction and also, the same client opening themselves to Attracting a new boyfriend, or girlfriend.

Whenever a client comes with a problem, the therapist really needs to think about what the client is asking for, and why? What they ask for is not always what they need. The therapist always should consider the other side of the coin. It is often a case not of what they want, but what they don't want. 

People want to lose weight, but never stop to ask why they have to eat. People smoke, but don't ask themselves what they get from it. Every behavior has a reason. No behavior in a normal person is random. And very often, the behavior is a reaction to that reason, without ever having the courage to tackle the reason head-on.

You have to get the client to ask themselves 'what is it that is stopping you having what you want?', and work on that.

In this case, the client wants to be open to attracting a romantic partner. The right question is therefore: "what do you think is stopping you?" You cannot influence the actions of others, you can only change your own actions. And what your actions will be depend on how you feel about yourself. How you feel about yourself depends on your own beliefs about who you are. 

Therefore the therapist should focus on investigating what the client is afraid of, what they think is wrong with them. In almost every case it will be quite clear: lack of self esteem, lack of confidence, or long term anxiety.

The correct approach would therefore be based on the script that most closely matches their particular circumstances.

David Mason

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