Fear of birds – clearing the phobia

This morning I had just finished a client, and I was working at my computer waiting for the next client. I heard a message arrive on my cell phone. Having nothing better to do I checked the message. The message said that the sender was on a train and needed to see me urgently.
The message said something like "I am coming into SilverStream station and will be there within the next 10 minutes. I am shaking with fear. At one of the previous stations the doors opened, and a pigeon flew in. It was under the bench seat next to me, walking around, and I could see his head going back and forward as it walked. I have a bird phobia. I saw hypnotherapist several years ago, and that moderated most of my fear. But this incident today has shaken me badly and I need to see somebody right now to get this fixed."
I texted back to say that I had my next client at 1 o'clock, but I would be happy to see her either before then or afterwards.
She immediately texted back to say that she would be at my place in 10 minutes time.
She duly arrived. And she did look shocked and frightened. She seemed very relieved to see me.
I only had 20 minutes or so to deal with her before the next client arrived. There was no need to spend any time finding out what the problem was, it was completely obvious. She was still highly emotional, so I used this this to start the therapy.

Treatment for fear of birds

I got her to focus on her feelings. She really didn't want to, but I got her to associate into her feelings of fear and anxiety. As soon as I was sure that she was experiencing the actual feeling that the bird had generated I asked her to describe the feeling in terms of an object. "If that feeling was an object, what object would it most resembles?"
She said "A triangle." She described it as a grey triangle, with smooth sides, that was just sitting there. I asked "what would you like to have happen to that triangle?" She said "I would like it to fade into the background." "And if it faded into the background what could you do then?" "I would be able to walk past it, and I wouldn't be looking for the triangle everywhere I went."
So I started to develop the metaphor object. I asked her "can you make it a little bit bigger". She said she could. "And can you make it a little bit bigger still?" "Yes", she said. Then I asked her "now can you make it a little smaller?" And she immediately said "it's become black." This meant that she had changed the metaphor object. Changing is the first step to clearing the emotion.
So I asked her "and how does that seem to you now, that whole bird thing?" She said "I can walk past it, I don't have to look out for it any more."

And that was the fear of birds phobia banished.

The whole thing was done in less than five minutes.

Finding patterns in smoking behaviour

Smokers do not know why they smoke

I had an interesting smoking client today. This man has given up several times but always starts again. He started smoking three weeks ago, after having given up for four months using Champix. Previously he had given up for a year and half , also with Champix.

I kept asking him why he smoked, and what he got from smoking. He said he did not know. I kept pressing him and he said "I'm not the kind of person who analyses things deeply." He did not know why he started smoking again. I asked him how he felt when he give up smoking. He told me that he felt stronger and more active but it stopped him sleeping well. The information about sleeping made me suspect that in fact he had "black and white thinking".
I showed him the dysthymia grid I use. This shows all the signs and symptoms of dysthymia. And he began smiling as he recognized himself there.

Indicators of dysthymia

We talked about dysthymia and it gradually unfolded that he had had it all his life. I explained to him that it was partly genetic and partly environment. I said you will probably find that some members of your extended family are angry, alcoholics, loners and so on. He immediately said "Yes, my grandfather was a drinker. And my father is a worrier".
We went back to talking about why he smoked and what he felt just before he smoked. He could not identify any particular feeling, or situation, which prompted him to smoke. He said "I just like to go outside and have a break now and then".

And that was the clue to why he smoked. He actually had a fairly mild form of dysthymia. He had expectations of how things should go. When he had done what you thought was right at work, and things still went wrong, he got irritated. This is classic dysthymia behavior. In his case he dealt with the irritation by stepping outside and having a smoke. He admitted he often didn't actually want the smoke. He would like one up, smoke half of it, and throw it away. And pace up and down for a while. But he couldn't give up.
He was smoking as a way of dealing with his frustration. As long as he did not understand the source of his frustration he would continue to start smoking again whatever the level of frustration got high enough.

It's not about stopping smoking, it's about stopping starting.

He had already stopped smoking many times. His problem isn't stopping smoking. He knows how to do that. His problem is stopping starting again. So we spent some time discussing how he was going to deal with his frustration. He said that instead of going out for a smoke he would take my suggestion and go out for a walk around the block.
I therefore put him into hypnosis and used my standard stop smoking routine. But I added in some extra suggestions about monitoring his own level of frustration and using this is a trigger to get more exercise.

I think it very interesting that so many smokers never give a thought to why they smoke, or when they smoke, or look for patterns in it. The pattern is usually fairly obvious once you look for it.

The mystery of dysthymia

Discovering dysthymia

Today I was talking with one of my students and she asked me "How are you today?" I said what I usually say "Average." She said "Well, that's not very good." And I said "doesn't everyone feel average every day? Isn't that what average means?" So she said "shouldn't you try to appear cheerful all the time?"

I said "I have never believed in pretending that I'm something I'm not. Sometimes I am up, sometimes I am down, but most of the time I'm just average." And then she said to me "Unless you tell yourself that you're feeling great you are going to stay that way all day." So I asked her why she felt that she had to try to boost how she feels all day. She said "Well, I woke up this morning feeling very grumpy, I really don't want to feel like that all day."

And I asked her if she felt grumpy a lot. She agreed that she felt grumpy sometimes. I asked her how well she slept. She told me that she sleeps badly. My psychology training began to get interested. I asked "would you say your mind was always busy?"

"Oh yes, always".

"Do you often get irritated with other people? Like when they don't do things you think they should do."

"Oh yes, too much. In fact my sisters were telling me at the weekend that I'm always snapping at them. They think I'm just bad tempered all the time. I don't think there's anything wrong with me."

Discussing the symptoms

At this point I realised I was talking to someone with a form of depression, who was totally unaware that she had it. I asked a few more questions and every one of them built up a picture of someone who sleeps badly, eats badly, can't concentrate, has a busy mind, gets down a lot and somehow just can't get around to doing her studies. I explained to her, gently, and I thought she actually has a form of depression. We discussed the symptoms of dysthymia back-and-forth and once she had got over the initial shock, she seemed to accept it. In fact she seemed quite relieved. It was as if that at last she had found something which explained all the different aspects of her behaviour.

We talked about dysthymia and its effect on day-to-day life for most people. She very rapidly realised that she in fact had all the symptoms. And not only that, she could identify them clearly in a niece of hers. And then she named several other relatives who also had odd behaviour that could be explained by this.

Finding out more

I got her to look it up on Google. I even had to spell it for her. And there it was, laid out in great detail, the classic symptoms. She was both appalled and delighted. Now she knew exactly what was going on, and what to do about it.

I have no doubt that she will follow the advice and gradually get rid of her long-term anxiety. I was very pleased to be able to help her. The tragedy is, that so many people have it, and don't realise. Dysthymia is an unnecessary drag on people's lives and happiness. And it is easily cured.

Perhaps there should be a public awareness campaign to bring it into the public consciousness. The mystery of dysthymia is why something has not been done up till now.

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