fear of sex

Fear of Sex Vaginismus

Female Sexual Anxiety Discomfort

Ending sexual dysfunction for a young woman

This hypnotherapy script treats a woman who has been married for several years but was still a virgin. She was afraid of having intercourse, feared pain from sex. She described classic vaginismus, where before intercourse the woman's genitals almost freeze, the muscles round the vagina clamp shut and make sexual penetration impossible. Vaginismus is an extreme form of sexual anxiety that affects many women. They are so afraid of an imagined pain that they cannot relax enough to have sex.

The script shows how to use hypnosis to deal with the fear of painful intercourse, by using metaphor  to change how her mind symbolizes the pain. This interactive technique talks to the client and clears their problem. Then that is reinforced by a hypnotic metaphor about opening and relaxing her body so that she can enjoy sex.

EXTRACT FROM FEAR OF SEX SCRIPT

TargetTechnique
Now shrug your shoulders and get comfortable... that's fine.relax the body
Now take a deep breath... and then just let it go...
take another deep breath... and... Hahhhh....
One more breath and just allow your eyes to close... that's right...
Now focus your attention on your breathing... become aware of the gentle in and out of your breath... focus on the breath out ... and as you breathe out... just think to yourself...Breathing induction
Relaxing more and more... [pace with breathing] ... relaxing more and more... relaxing ...lots of time to respond
and just become aware of how relaxed your body can become...I
and as you relax... become aware of the air going into your body...Bind
become aware of the air in your nose... and notice how it feels... notice how far down you can feel that air... you can feel it inside your head... you can feel it going down the back... really focus your attention on that... think about that and relaxing all the time...Focus of attention
and then just imagine what it would be like if your arms and legs were so tired.. so heavy... that you just can't move them... as if they were made of lead or stone... heavy and tired... and think about the whole of your body ... heavy and tired... and relaxing...Kinesthetic induction
and then imagine the whole of your chest and spine has gone like jelly... loose and soft like butter... on a warm day... and imagine being out somewhere on a warm day... lying on the grass perhaps.... or on a warm beach... someplace nice... someplace where you can relax... and let go now....
some place where you can be completely... relaxed.... on your own.. and imagine the warmth of the sun on your skin, the gentle breeze... the sounds around you beginning to fade... the whole of your body... very relaxed.. completely at ease.. that's right...
and I wonder if you can imagine a big old house somewhere.... the kind of house that generations of people have grown up in... and you can go into that house… safe and warm and comfortable... in that house there is a corridor going down... and imagine now drifting down that corridor... drifting down... into a warm dark safe place... and as you go down that corridor you begin to realize you are looking for one particular room.... and in that room there are steps going down and each step will take you deeper and deeper, more and more relaxed... and there are ten steps and as you go down each step you get more relaxed... more at ease... and so going down those steps now... [pace with breathing, or with every second breath] TEN... and NINE more and more relaxed... and EIGHT deeper and deeper ... and SEVEN down and down and SIX letting it all go... and FIVE ... and FOUR ... relaxing more and more ... and THREE deeper and deeper... and TWO ... and ONE... and after one there is just zero ... and imagine now drifting floating, swirling... going down into the centre of that dark velvety place... down and down to a place where nothing matters.. where you don't have to think, you don't have to listen... everything is completely relaxed... that's right... you are doing very well and from now on every sound you hear will take you deeper... down and down... drifting away... and you can allow your mind to wander off... it doesn't matter... nothing matters... the only thing that matters is enjoying this deep, deep relaxation... every breath is relaxing you more... as you go deeper relaxed now... deeper and deeper. Just take a moment to enjoy that feeling.Countdown induction
[do an eye catalepsy test for trance]
Identify with resources
and those eyes are telling you something important... those eyes are telling you that you can control parts of your body that you didn't know you could control... and that's because you can control parts of your mind that you didn't know you can control..Resource
and that's because you have a strong mind... and that strong mind of yours is what is causing your problemparadox
But it is going to give you the solution to your problem, because you need a strong mind to make that change... and you have a strong mind... so you can make the change...Hypnotic logic
and the change you want is to have enjoyable sex with your husband... what you want is to have the chance to have a baby... to get pregnant.. what you want is to enjoy intimate times like every other woman... to make your husband happy... to have a normal life... to feel warm and happy and proud... and feminine... to increase your own pleasure... your husband's pleasure... that's what you want... isn't it?reinforce the pleasures
and that is what you can have... because that strong mind of yours will not let anything stand in your way once you tell it exactly what you want.
Capabilityand you can tell it in your own words in your own way that you want it to allow your body to relax... to allow that special place down there between your legs to open... to flower... to be ready ... to be a woman...Flower - set up image for later
and part of you knows there will be a tiny bit of pain... but it will be just tiny... and you have dealt with these things before... you have dealt with things that hurt before...Acknowledge her fear
Memorythink of things that you have done before ... like injections... think of period pains... women's things... you know how to deal with pain...other pains she had
and when you think of this pain... I want you to think of the pain that you think of when you are cuddling your husband and getting close... and you want to have sex...Lead in to Metaphor Section
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
[The rest of this script is available in the Sexual Health collection]
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
and every time you think of your husband... you feel that warmth down there... in that special secret place... you feel a little throbbing of anticipation... you feel the pleasure as all those little feelings begin to gather down there ... and you can enjoy that anticipation... remembering that flower opening... opening being ready to be fertilized... spreading soft pink and beautiful... moist and lovely... just the way it should be...DPost hypnotic suggestion
getting ready to embrace your husband... take him inside... again and again... to enjoy his strength... his pleasure... your pleasure...
every time you think of that... that image of the pink flower... comes to mind... and fills you with a special warmth...Post hypnotic suggestion
a feeling that begins in your thighs and spreads round the top there... and then you feel it deep in your tummy... a mixture of love and warmth and affection ... feeling safe and wanted... strong and good...K
and I wonder what the right word for that feeling is? Feel that now. Feel that and know that everything has changed...>
Reinforcement and Reorientation
everything in the past has gone away... all those disappointments... you can imagine them flying away like birds... fluttering off...M
Behaviourall those old feelings just disappearing now...D
RuleThey don't matter any more... what's past is past.D
What is important is the future.DReframing
Tonight... tomorrow...and the day after... and the day after that... and the night after that... feeling fresh and feminine... feeling happy and fulfilled...
and who knows... a tiny life growing in there... soft and vulnerable ... and then one day... holding in your arms... a baby... little eyes smiling up at you...V
And there is so much to look forward to now...
and no matter what happened before... none of that matters now...D
You are ready to be a whole woman now.. to be a wife now... you are ready now to have happy and playful and joyful sex...D
and knowing that... knowing you have changed... knowing you are ready to relax... is it time to come back to the present and look forward to the future...
So you can now count from five up to one... and when you get to one.... you will be back in the room fully alert and ready to begin your new life...
So start counting NOW...

 

HLTX02

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