A client wrote to me about a Fear of Dating:

Once again I'd like to thank you for your assistance with the hypnotherapy. I can honestly say I've noticed a difference in my confidence, not just public speaking, but in my everyday life.

I have another query, in which I may require your services if possible. I've been out of the dating game for quite some time. (mostly down to the confidence issue I had) along with a few other things. Its been quite some time now. I've recently met a lovely gentleman. Through a friend, we touched base with one another. I've been told he's great by most people I know that know him yet, I'm putting off going for coffee or catching up at all.

Part of me thinks its because its been so long since I last dated, but the more I think about it the more I think its to do with these 'expectation issues' I have always had. I know I definitely have an issue with trying to meet peoples expectations. I tend to thrive in situations where there is no expectation put on me (such as being on my current career path - as I have no experience its almost as if they don't expect anything of me so I can really fail) and also why I played rugby growing up, because the expectation of a female doing well in a 'mans' sport was so low I didn't feel any pressure to succeed.

If there is anything in life where there is some sort of expectation its a fight or flight response. I'll either not do it at all at the risk of failing, or aim far above the bar set.

And with the prospect of this date, because its an organized 'thing' to me, it feels contrived which I know is a weird for me to think this. I feel like not only do I need to live up to my expectation, but his as well. I'm at the point where Id rather just not go ahead with it at the risk of 'failing'

Which is even more strange because I'm 100% confident with who I am as a person and I don't really fear if he (or anyone) doesn't like me for who I am (which somewhat contradicts the 'expectations' issue.)

Do you think hypnosis would help alleviate or fix this issue, or do you have any thoughts on the matter?

Appreciate your advice.

What do you think?

What are your thoughts on the matter? What would you do for a Fear of Dating situation?

About
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David Mason

Therapist at Wellington Hypnosis

David Mason is an experienced and university qualified hypnotherapist with 15 years of clinical practice. He has a PhD and a Masters degree in psychology.
He is highly regarded in the hypnotherapy community. He is Vice President of the New Zealand Association of Professional Hypnotherapists (NZAPH).
He is regularly consulted for advice by other hypnotherapists around the world. He is known for the quality of his published scripts. He presents at international conferences and has published on hypnosis and advanced hypnotherapy.
He lives in Wellington New Zealand with his wife Trish and a cat called Parsnip.
email: davemason@besthypnosisscripts.com

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Fear of Dating, not being good enough

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