Writing Good Affirmations
Writing good Daily Positive Affirmations
Create change by writing good affirmations
The simplest way to create change in yourself is by repeating an affirmation. An affirmation is a specific, positive statement saying that something that you want is already so. For example an affirmation for confidence in personal appearance is "I am good looking and people like me." If you say that affirmation often enough, and combine the words you say with vivid images and positive emotions, then your mind will accept it. If you keep telling yourself that you are confident, that you are a winner, that people like you, then it will become true. It is as simple as that.
Good Affirmations use the Law of Attraction
Affirmations work because what you subconsciously believe about yourself is signaled in your body language and your speech patterns. Other people will notice this and they will begin to react differently to you.
So, what you tell yourself becomes what you expect and what you expect becomes real. This is known as the Law of Attraction.
Rules for Writing POSITIVE Affirmations
The simplest way to change your old attitudes to life is by repeating a positive Affirmation. Any positive statement can be an affirmation, but the wording of the affirmation needs to follow the rules for affirmations if it is to work.
BASIC PRINCIPLES OF POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS
How do I know when I have the right words for an affirmation ?
The right phrase will bring to mind a clear image of yourself doing whatever it is you want to do and feeling good about doing it. It must make you feel good about yourself or your situation.
It must be expressed in positive terms, not negative
(not 'I will not get angry'. better: 'I am in control at all times')
It must be in the present tense
(not 'I will be confident', Better: 'I am confident') Avoid words like "can, will, should, could".
It must be about you
(not 'Chris will love me'. Better: 'I constantly find ways to make Chris happy')
It must be simple
Use your normal way of speaking and use short punchy words.
It should be concrete and specific
(not 'I want to sell more'. Better 'I am good at showing how my product meets the client's needs')
It must fit your goals
To work, the affirmation must be something you actually want. If you want to be successful but are afraid of being criticized then the two wants conflict. The affirmation will not succeed.
You will know when it is right because it will feel right to you.
GOOD AFFIRMATIONS FOCUS ON ONE CORE BELIEF
Think about what you want to change. It will be one of your core beliefs about
Who You Are
How You Behave
What You Can Do
How you should live
What you expect from others
What the world is like
I am a loving, special, talented woman.
My name is [name], I am caring, smart, and people like me.
I am a do-it-now kinda guy, so that's what I do.
Every customer is a chance for me to show my service skills.
I treat everyone I meet as a potential life long friend.
Today I will do one more thing towards getting my new house.
Thinking about my past just makes me stronger.
Noticing my little daily successes shows my confidence is growing.
Thinking about the exam makes me more determined to pass.
I accept whatever life brings.
Rules for living
I make mistakes, but I learn from them.
I am unique and special, there has never been anyone else exactly like me, and so I welcome every day as a new beginning.
Everyone I meet has a smile for me.
There is always a way, and it is right in front of me.
The world is full of golden opportunities and helpful people.
How to design your own affirmation
The easiest way to create an affirmation is to think of the problems you are having, and write down a phrase that describes the main problem. Then write out an affirmation statement that is the opposite of that. That is the starting point for your affirmation.
Suppose your problem is that your are about to get fired unless you improve your output. Your core programming might be that how you were brought up makes you think "I am no good, I will never succeed at anything" and that comes out as "I'm a lousy salesman". That may well be true but the opposite is "I'm a great salesman". This is not a good affirmation because it is phrased about your identity.
Unless you are a very strange person you do not define yourself as being at your very core, a salesman. Sales is something you do, not something you are. Therefore you need an affirmation about behavior, about what you do. The job of sales consists of many parts and presumably some parts you are doing well and others you are doing badly. Your affirmation should be aimed at the parts you are doing badly. Suppose you think you are doing OK on describing the products but you just can't get the client to sign on the dotted line. This specific problem is something you can focus on and improve.
This could be described as "I can't get the guy to sign". The opposite is not "I can get the guy to sign". The signing is the result of some action of yours. So the real opposite is "I make my presentations using a compelling business case and I close the sale every time". If you can see yourself doing that over and over then those are the right words. If not then you can try a different set of words, and keep rephrasing it until it sounds right when you repeat it aloud. The right affirmation lets you imagine the situation clearly and makes you feel good when you imagine yourself doing it.
WRITING A GOOD AFFIRMATION
Affirmations must be forward looking.
There is nothing you can do about the past. What happened in the past is over and gone and will not change. What you can do is to change the meaning of what happened in the past. It is up to you to decide how you will allow it to affect you today.
Affirmations are not comparisons.
Affirmations are about you, and only you. It is not good practice to compare yourself directly to others. Your affirmation should not be "I will sell more than Henry". That will only focus your thoughts on Henry - you need to focus on you. "I am in the top ten percent of sales people in my industry".
Affirmations are not goals.
Affirmations are about what you want to be, what you want to do. Goals are about what you want to have, where you will end up. Affirmations are linked to goals but they are not the same as goals. You may want to earn a million dollars a year, or have a ten roomed house, or enjoy a happy family life. Those are goals. Affirmations are about you, who you are and how you think.
Affirmations must be tied to goals.
Affirmations are not good luck charms. They will overcome negative beliefs, but just wanting to be America's Next Top Model is not going to make it happen. Telling yourself that "I have poise, elegance and innate fashion sense" will make it possible for someone with no self belief to get started, and it will carry them through the setbacks and difficulties on the way, but success depends on action as well as wanting.
Affirmations focus on the right thing.
Do not talk about things you don't want. If you mention a negative thing you are automatically putting it into your mind. If you use an affirmation such as "I won't be late" your mind registers the word "late" and all its bad associations. Better to say "I am always on time."
Affirmations don't depend on magic words.
The exact wording of an affirmation is not critical, as long as it is positive, personal, permanent and possible. You will know you have the right words when the phrase feels right for you. Change them if they don't feel right. The right phrase will bring to mind a clear image of yourself doing whatever it is you want to do and feeling good about doing it. That is the real test of an affirmation.
Affirmations must be about what is possible.
You cannot will yourself to be seven feet tall. But do not limit yourself by dismissing possibilities too easily. You may not be able to grow to be seven feet tall, but that is no reason to not give yourself the affirmation that 'I am an outstanding basketball player'.
Affirmations should be short.
Six words is better than six lines.
Affirmations depend on belief.
This might all seem too easy. If it is that simple why isn't everyone a millionaire yacht owner? The sad fact is that 99% of the people in the world limit themselves by their own self beliefs. You can be different. Suspend your doubts, put your full mental capabilities into your affirmation, give it everything you've got. And you will be amazed by the outcome.
All of us go through our day believing that we are exercising free will, but in reality we are often simply acting on the influence of hidden rules and beliefs. These beliefs control our behaviour, our attitudes, our expectations and even what we see and hear.
The beliefs we operate under more or less determine who we are. And the sad fact is that very few of us were lucky enough to be brought up by parents who gave us only positive encouragement. Most of us were brought up by parents who did their best, but the ideas we picked up in our formative years are a mixture of notions copied from playmates, parents, teachers, advertisers, movies, preachers and who knows what else. Unfortunately many of the ideas in your random collection are unhelpful, out dated or even destructive.
Rules such as 'Never talk to strangers' are useful to children, but can lead to missing out on essential social skills. 'Always put others first' may help you get along in the kindergarten but may also be why you get passed over for promotion. Even more unhelpful are negative self beliefs about identity - 'You'll never amount to anything', or 'Why can't you be good as your sister?' or 'You've so stupid'. A belief gets installed by being repeated over and over in childhood until eventually the child accepts it as true. The adult is not even aware that these beliefs exist but the subconscious mind will force the adult to act in ways that make those beliefs stay true.
Affirmations change beliefs
An affirmation is designed to wipe out these negative beliefs. Affirmations should be repeated anytime you can. You can use them at work, when shopping, before sleeping, while driving - anywhere and any time you want to, and as often as you can. However, to make sure that you actually remember to use them it is a good idea to associate saying the affirmation with with something you do every day. For example you probably look in the mirror before leaving the house. That would a good time to anchor your affirmation.
What you need to do is to create a mental association between seeing your reflection and saying your affirmation. You could create a mental image of a big yellow balloon appearing behind you when you look in the mirror. Or you could imagine a highlight flashing off your teeth like the ones in the toothpaste ads. Look in the mirror, shut your eyes and see the balloon along with your face. After doing this a few times you will see the balloon automatically. Seeing the balloon will remind you to say your affirmation.
After a few times of using the affirmation, the balloon image will fade and every time you see your reflection, in a mirror or in shop window or even a photograph you will be reminded to say your affirmation. You anchor the affirmation to anything you routinely do, even to a feeling you get at certain times, or a sound you hear.
How affirmations work
You are what you think about. Your mind affects your body. Some people constantly worry about what might go wrong, or criticize themselves for not doing better, or beat themselves up because of mistakes they made in the past. This behaviour eventually causes stress, and long term stress leads to chronic illness.
On the other hand, constantly looking for the silver lining and reminding yourself of how good life can be will reduce stress and promote health which in turn makes you more able to recognize and use life's opportunities. So changing your habitual way of thinking will change your self beliefs and changing your self beliefs will make you healthier and happier. It's that simple.
Affirmations are a powerful technique to transform your hidden beliefs in such a way that your behaviour, attitudes and expectations change automatically.