Changing shoulds into coulds.
How do the the three way change exercise.
It can be hard to work out what to do to change your life. Some things are important, and some are just habit. This exercise helps you focus on what you need most, and what will help the quickest.
Get a bit of paper and divide it into three columns.
At the top the first column write the words 'I should....'.
Then in that column write down all the things that you feel you should be doing. The list can be as long or as short as you like. Look at your list and rearrange them in order starting with the most pressing, the ones that you have the most trouble sticking to.
Then, beside each 'I should...' statements, ask yourself 'Why?'
and write down the answer in the second column.
Then for each Should statement ask yourself 'Says Who?'
and write the answer in the third column.
Doing this exercise will let you find the basic drivers of your own behavior. The 'Says Who?' column will challenge your assumptions about what you think you must do. Examening these might show you how you have been trained to believe certain things that are just aren't true.
Now go through the list again, but this time rewrite all statements in the form 'I COULD....', and decide how much priority to give to each one.
Changing shoulds into coulds will targeted exactly the things in your life that you need to work on, and let you ignore the stuff that really is someone else's problem.